Friday, February 23, 2018

My wonderful father has died


Hao Van Vu, who left Vietnam after the war and built a new life in southern California, died on Feb. 20 after a lengthy battle with lung cancer. He was 67.

Vu was born in 1950 in Nam Dinh in north Vietnam. After the country split in 1954, the Vu family moved to Hue and then Saigon, where Hao graduated from law school. He would go to dances with his friends and drink coffee at cafes frequented by foreign correspondents. A few days before Saigon fell to Communist forces, Hao’s family fled Vietnam on a warship. Their journey over the next few months took them to the Philippines, Guam, Fort Chaffee, Ark., and eventually Nauvoo, Ill., where they were sponsored by the local Catholic convent. While there, the Vu’s befriended one of the only other Vietnamese families in the vicinity, the Phams of Keokuk, Iowa, where Hao met his future wife, Kim Tuyen.

Hao followed the Phams when they moved to California. Kim did not initially like Hao and only agreed to a first date at her mother’s urging. She wore all black and ordered a shrimp noodle dish, but ate only the shrimp to prove a point. They married and settled in the area that would become Little Saigon. One by one, Hao’s parents and the rest of his six siblings made their way to Orange County, where they still live today.

Hao worked as a drafter and engineer for several aerospace companies for 20-some years, while he and Kim also learned the ropes of small business by starting the Yogi’s Yogurt and Video Cup (later Star Video) empires. They eventually found success in real estate, with Kim once voicing that she hoped Hao would be fired from Boeing so that he could work full time for her. He tried, but despite showing up in ripped jeans, taking long midday breaks, and reading novels at work, he was just too valuable to fire. Kim eventually got her wish when he quit.

He was a great family man, putting three kids through graduate school. He called dibs on their diplomas, which he hung proudly in his home office. He helped care for several nieces and nephews who fondly remember the summer or year they lived with the Vu Phamily. Despite this, he relished the reputation he had as the gruff uncle. He loved it when his sisters warned their kids, “Be good or I’ll tell on you to Uncle Hao.” When children tried to get their way by crying, he cheerfully urged them to “cry louder, nobody cares!” heedless of how many passersby looked on in alarm. One of his now-grown nieces admitted to using this technique on her own children.

He constantly sent money back to Vietnam to help disabled veterans and the Catholic community. Hao and Kim have donated to repair churches and buy land for a cemetery. They helped build a brand new church, Nha Tho Xu Yen Khe, for Yen Khe parish in Ninh Binh, Kim’s home province. The Vietnamese parishioners have been praying for Hao since the cancer returned, and several churches are planning to celebrate a mass in his honor.

He loved road trips. Hao and Kim thought nothing of spontaneously going on a six-hour drive to visit their son Peter in Sacramento. They once drove into Mexico by accident and then called their daughter Pauline asking if she could Google whether they’d be allowed back into the U.S. without their passports (spoiler alert: they were). They traveled to Europe, Central America, the Caribbean, China, Mexico, all over the U.S., and made numerous trips to Vietnam. On one such visit, Hao ate bun bo Hue every day the family was in that city. On the day when they were scheduled to leave Hue early, Hao and his daughter Jackie got up at the crack of dawn and took a cyclo to their favorite restaurant to squeeze in one last bowl.

He loved dancing, singing karaoke, and meeting up with his many friends. He was an excellent party host — people still talk about Hao and Kim’s 38th anniversary blowout. One of his great joys was reconnecting with the law school friends he had known in Saigon since people had scattered after the war.

Hao is survived and beloved by his wife and three children; his mother and father-in-law; two dozen siblings and siblings-in-law; a whole passel of nieces and nephews; more friends than even he knew he had; and seven dogs and two cats.

My wonderful father has died

Hao Van Vu, who left Vietnam after the war and built a new life in southern California, died on Feb. 20 after a lengthy battle with lun...