Quick update

What a copy editor I make. "Quick update" is, perhaps, the catchiest thing I've ever written.

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know how I'm doing (and by "you all" I mean Aubris and Andrea). I've moved into a cute apartment by the city center that costs $240 a month, and now I'm looking for a new place. I've decided to aim for Vietnamese quality and Vietnamese prices (which is more like $50 a month). Of course, the place won't come with an air conditioner, fan or refrigerator, but who needs them? And besides, I already average a cockroach a week. A few more can't hurt (although the cockroaches are damn near two inches long).

I've launched myself into studying Vietnamese, with mixed results. About the only thing I've learned so far is that I don't know that much at all. I have a tutor (who's not a great tutor but is rapidly becoming a good friend) and go to classes three times a week. I hate, absolutely loathe, grammar.

I met today with the editor of the Vietnam Investment Review, an English-language weekly. He said he'll call if there are any openings for a sub-editor. Sub-editors are like copy editors, except that you can totally change the articles, which are written in English by Vietnamese reporters. How cool is that? When I was copy editing at Space News, it frustrated me that I couldn't do more than look for factual errors and AP style violations. To actually be able to improve someone's writing would be a relief.

I just finished teaching my first English class here. I felt like the majority of the students liked me. It's not that I'm a good teacher, but I think, if you can believe it, that I have a certain amount of charm. I just hope the charm machine is enough to overcome having an Asian face. Before I started the school warned me that sometimes students object to Asian teachers because they think they cannot possibly possess the proper accent, no matter where they were born. Also, the school might not keep me because it was just a trial class and they're giving another guy a trial on Wednesday. It's a teach-off! What if he's - gulp - more charming?

It's nice talking to the students, though. Euthanasia, and taking someone off life support, is illegal here. And not only that, but the majority of my students think it's immoral to take someone off life support. One girl said she'd rather die than be on life support, and another student clapped and said he thought she was brave. But he said wouldn't do that to his wife.

Reporting in Vietnam

I called a foreign reporter here in Hanoi to ask a few questions, but midway through the first one she cut me off and said we should meet instead. The government had listened in on her calls before, she told me later, and she didn't want to take the chance they were listening then. I thought it was a little Deep Throatish, pre-Deep Throat revealing himself to be an old man whose mind is half gone.

Foreign reporters are supposed to register with the Vietnamese government. Six years ago another reporter who didn't register was thrown out of the country after he wrote about politics. The reporter suggested I not register, as it's a long, tedious process, but as a result I can't interview any government officials. I don't consider Nguoi Viet 2, the paper I freelance for, remotely threatening, but the Vietnamese government keeps tabs on everything said about it, including anything from the largest Viet Kieu (overseas Vietnamese) newspaper in the U.S.

Each registered reporter is given a translator/minder who is technically supposed to watch over them. These minders may eventually do the same work as a reporter, but they're known officially as news assistants because Vietnam is one of the few countries in the world to ban its citizens from working as reporters for a foreign outlet. Reporters also must base themselves in Hanoi, even though Saigon is where the economic action is, and they have to get permission to report in other areas. Often the permission is granted, and then revoked at the last minute.

The reporter recommended I stick with social issues, but not major ones like the growing heroin problem. Other advice: Don't interview any government officials, but, say, a doctor at a hospital is okay. Just tell don't tell him it's for some Viet Kieu paper in America. Can I use his name? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on how the interview went. It's mind-boggling. And we complain about lack of media access in America...

QUICK NOTE: The guy next to me, who's on IM, has written "I love you" and hit return about 50 times. I think maybe, just maybe, he loves someone.

"Eating her way across Viet Nam"

So, I wrote a cheesy column-thing for Nguoi Viet 2, the weekly English offshoot of the U.S.'s largest Vietnamese newspaper. They wanted something about food and I wrote about my favorite dishes during my recent travels. I'm going to post the article, but I don't think anyone should actually read it. I think you should look at the first picture of Jackie, her mouth open, cao lau noodles halfway in her mouth. That's the picture they decided to run 8" x 15". That made the whole thing totally worth it.

Also, for reasons I'll never understand, the article has apparently garnered the second largest response ever for a Nguoi Viet 2 article. As of two weeks ago, 4,733 responses, my editor said. What are these people writing about? I have no idea. But the fact they've written at all only contributes to the lasting mystery of the Vietnamese. We're an odd, odd people.

http://nguoi-viet.com/absolutenm/anmviewer.asp?a=25851&z=19

Know the Jackie!

Well, my traveling companion and partner-in-bitching for the last six weeks has left. In her honor - and realizing that her friends double the hits on this blog - I'm putting up some of my favorite pics of my lil' sis.

Now Jackie, don't tell too many of your friends at once. I wouldn't want to crash the site.

-AGE: 24, 18 months younger than me
-OCCUPATION: Full-time sister, part-time student at Vanderbilt Law School
-PERSONALITY SNAPSHOT: When an obnoxious guy Jackie didn't like kept making inane remarks and saying, "Sorry - I'm a smartass," she answered, "No, you have to be smart to be a smartass. Otherwise you're just an ass."


The woman to the right insisted Jackie take this cheesy photo. Then she promptly overcharged Jackie for pineapple, but we didn't mind.


Jackie and my dad clear wheat stalks from the rural road we were on. I wasn't strong enough, so I recorded the magical moment instead.


She really likes hammocks.


Jackie and our aunt Thuy reach the top of the Microwave Tower (radio tower) in Sapa.


Jackie, picking flowers with a dreamy look on her face, the douche baggette.


In our Thai cooking class.


At a waterfall on our Chiang Mai trek.


Scaling the wall in Krabi.


On the edge of the boat during a tour of Halong Bay in Vietnam.

Know the Peter! (but not as well)

My brother came out to Hanoi for one week before leaving with Jackie. Unfortunately, I don't have as many pictures of him because (1) I was tired of taking pictures, and (2) we didn't do many touristy things. From the start, Pete made clear he wasn't here to find his roots or get to know Vietnam. He was here for one thing and one thing only: cheap tailored suits (he got two, complete with vest, for $145). Here are a few shots of him during our Halong Bay trip, the one touristy thing we did because my mother, upon hearing Pete wanted to skip that too, grew furious. "Then why you go to Vietnam in the fuhst place!?!?!?" she shrieked.

AGE: 21, almost five years younger than me.
OCCUPATION: senior at UC Davis
PERSONALITY SNAPSHOT: Pete, a strong Catholic, used to invite Jehovah's Witnesses into our house for weeks on end to debate religion. My mother said she passed them one time, saw him arguing vehemently, and said, "Petah, let them go."


Ready to face off what lies in the distance.


Pete bravely points to...air. Yes, we admit it. He's pointing to air. It's a cool silhouette, dammit.