"Can I see your license and registration, ma'am?"

It had to happen sometime. Yesterday I had my first run-in with a traffic cop.

I was at a busy intersection, made an illegal left turn, and then saw the cop standing on the sidewalk. He stepped in front of me and waved me over. I was tempted for a second to go around him and hit the gas - I heard sometimes cops can do little more than throw their batons at your retreating head - but I'm glad I didn't. Turns out some cops have their own motorbikes nearby and are only too happy to give chase.

So I parked my bike, promptly fell into a muddy ditch (the bike toppling onto me), was helped up by the cop, and then stood there awkwardly as he asked me for my papers. In my head were the words of wisdom offered by my friend Hai, a fellow American Viet Kieu: "DON'T SPEAK A SINGLE WORD OF VIETNAMESE!"

"Can't I just say a little, enough for them to know I'm not-"

"NO! NOT A SINGLE WORD OF VIETNAMESE!"