Checking out the 'Brides Wanted' section of the classifieds

I was at my favorite restaurant when I spied, among the newspapers they use to wrap up naan, the Matrimonials section of the classifieds. “Wanted Brides,” it said, and further on down, “Wanted Grooms.”

The ads are divided by age—people in their 20s, 30s and 40s, and nothing above that (in fact, for the 40s section there was only one ad each). I recognize some of the categories, such as Christian, Muslim, Sikh and Brahmin (the highest, priestly caste). There’s also SC/ST, which means “scheduled caste/scheduled tribe,” the PC term for lower castes (such as the Untouchables).

Marriage here is a family affair, and usually the parents pick spouses, or at least play a heavy role in choosing a spouse. You can see that influence in some of the ads, which, along with age, height, education and occupation, often list familial connection.

Here are a few ads from Brahmin men looking for wives: “wkg b’ful slim girl Brahmin Alliance with good fmly background.”

“fair, h’some 5’10” / 27, cr. Mngr. hdfc bank delhi status family”

Here’s a woman looking for a husband: “Sunni Muslim Dr girl 26/ 5’3” BUMS convent edu/ religious, Dr parents invite alliance pref Doctor based in Delhi”

Another female doc: “b’ful, fair, slim, 27 / 5’6” Punjabi Radiologist, belong to Rich family, preff. Delhi, NCR, Jaipur based”

Here’s one from a woman: “28/ 5’7” b’ful educated Employed, unable to conceive can lead normal life. Divorcee, Widower with small child acceptable.”

I like that many ads say, “Caste no bar” (my understanding is that a favorable match is now more about economic potential than caste). A small number of ads say, “No dowry.” (or in one case, “No dowry girl’s merit only consideration.”)

According to one co-worker, three years ago the ads listed people’s salaries, but that went out of practice.

At the Asha office I asked, who actually uses the newspaper to find spouses? “My sister,” said Vinola. “My cousin,” said Shubprah. Oh. However, apparently nowadays most people go online to find spouses. They’re still monitored by their parents, but they can at least initiate contact themselves.