Checking out the 'Brides Wanted' section of the classifieds

I was at my favorite restaurant when I spied, among the newspapers they use to wrap up naan, the Matrimonials section of the classifieds. “Wanted Brides,” it said, and further on down, “Wanted Grooms.”

The ads are divided by age—people in their 20s, 30s and 40s, and nothing above that (in fact, for the 40s section there was only one ad each). I recognize some of the categories, such as Christian, Muslim, Sikh and Brahmin (the highest, priestly caste). There’s also SC/ST, which means “scheduled caste/scheduled tribe,” the PC term for lower castes (such as the Untouchables).

Using OkCupid in Delhi

Out of curiosity, I changed my OkCupid location from "Los Angeles" to "New Delhi." What did I learn? 

• That lots of Indian guys, like their American counterparts, will you send form letters that could be cut and pasted to every woman (most of the letters I received fell in this category). 
• That lots of Indian guys have bad English grammar. Yet another similarity to the American guys who write to me. 
• That according to OkCupid's match system, most of the guys writing to me are really poor matches (this is a big difference from the U.S., where most guys who write to me match quite high, for what it's worth).

Here's a sample of the letters I've received (full disclosure: I'm printing the cheesiest and worst of the lot. There were also nice letters from people who actually read my profile. But those are boring)

a_wonderguy: Hello Gorgeous....How are you....Can you buy me a Coffee...???? :) :)

wyliein: show me that wonders can be true

deven_kolaveri: Girl you are making me so high ... are you weed ?  :-P (NOTE: He actually sent this twice a week apart. When I wrote, "You already wrote that. Perhaps a new line," he responded, "umm hi babe i am more inclined towards you you Rock hard :-) )

Four ways to avoid getting taken advantage of by Delhi touts

(Also see: the five tricks touts in India use to cheat you)

These should be pretty obvious, and yet I had to learn it the hard way.

Tout-avoidance method No. 1: Actually read my guidebook and process what it’s telling me. Direct warnings I didn’t heed:

• “New Delhi railway station is the worst place for touts; assume that anyone who approaches you here—even in uniform—with offers of help…is up to no good.”
• “On Connaught Place and along Janpath, steer clear of phoney ‘tourist information offices’ (which touts may try to divert you to).” (I went to four. Four.)

The five methods used by Indian touts

(Also see: Four ways to avoid being tricked by Indian touts)

My unfortunate experience with touts when I first got to Delhi has helped me break down some of their methods. A primer:

1) Touts gain your trust.
This can work in a variety of ways. First, of course, they can pretend to be someone else (like Viki, the man who approached me at the train station with an “Employee of India” badge). Second, they reveal personal information (like Khan, who informed me he was a 23-year-old virgin)(Khan also may have been trying to get in my pants). Third, they warn you against touts (like Anil, who told me to be sure to go to the government’s tourism information office and even circled them on my map, trusting--correctly--that I wouldn’t check the map when he didn't bring me to those offices). Fourth, they play to your vanity (“Why did you come up to me?” I asked Vijay, who said sheepishly, “Indian guys like Western women.”).

Scenes from India: Jaisalmer

The sleeper compartment in my overnight bus.

From Udaipur I hopped on an overnight bus--the coldest, bumpiest, smelliest bus there was (according to my fellow travelers). Here are some pics (to go with the earlier set from my post on the camel safari).

View from the bus on the way to Jaisalmer.

Scenes from India: Udaipur

Yes, Udaipur really is as beautiful and romantic as they say. (for more pics, see this post)

Lake Pichola.

Scenes from India: Ranthambhore National Park

A few pics from Ranthambhore and on the way to Udaipur (to complement those in this post).

They both stopped to look at me.

Our first wild animal during the tour.

I don't know why, but these two girls took a liking to me and waved every time they saw me.

At the Subway in India

Server: What sauces would you like?
Me: Chipotle and ranch.
(server puts the chipotle on, and then what looks like a thicker, whiter version of Italian)
Me: That's not ranch.
Server: Yes it is, ma'am.
(pause)
Me: Well, that's not what we call ranch in America.

Yes, I've become obnoxious.

Adventure activities in Rajasthan (Part 4): Ziplining in Mehrangarh Fort (Jodhpur)

ACTIVITY #4: Ziplining

The Place: Jodhpur
The Date: Jan. 13, 2012
The Cost: 1,350 rupees (but try to get a discount by booking early)
Thrill Level, from 1 to 10: 7.5 (don’t do it if you’re afraid of heights!)

The Mehrangarh Fort is already one of the coolest things to see in Rajasthan (the upcoming Batman movie was partly filmed there). It has tons of history, and a kickass audio tour that’s included with admission. But on top of that, Flying Fox Asia, a British company, built six zip lines into the outer part of the fort. You can ZIPLINE across a historical fort, from one layer to some of the outer defensive walls. It. Was. SO. Cool. The views and the rush are amazing, prompting the two French women in my tour to keep proclaiming, “Fantastique!”

Adventure activities in Rajasthan (Part 3): Camel safari in Jaisalmer

Seeing the sun rise before our trip.

 ACTIVITY #3: Camel safari

The Place: Jaisalmer
The Date: Jan. 11-12, 2012
The Cost: 1,700 rupees
Thrill Level, from 1 to 10: 3 (there’s always the danger of falling off the camel, and there’s a tiny rush when it’s time to get on and off the camel)

For my 1.5-day trip, we left Jaisalmer in the morning by jeep, had a basic breakfast while watching the sun rise, rode a camel for about two hours, had lunch, and then rested for two hours. Then we got back on a camel for another two hours until we reached some sand dunes, where we set up camp and had dinner and beer (not included in the price). The next morning we had a simple breakfast and rode camels for about two hours until we reached a jeep that brought us back to Jaisalmer by lunchtime.

Adventure activities in Rajasthan (Part 2): Horseback riding in Udaipur

ACTIVITY #2: Horseback riding
The Place: Udaipur
The Date: Jan. 9, 2012
The Cost: 1,100 rupees
Thrill Level, from 1 to 10: 2 (we only did a slow walk)

It was beautiful ride through the hills and villages surrounding Udaipur, but slow. They’ll only let you do anything faster than a walk if you have experience (but other horseback riding tours I’ve been allowed to canter, despite my inexperience).

The guide, the co-owner of the hotel, gave us details on the villages we passed, such as explaining whether the inhabitants were lower-income or middle-class farmers. We also rode up to a beautiful lake/reservoir with monkeys. The trip included a delicious lunch at Krishna Ranch, which is owned by the same people who run Kumbha Palace Hotel, where we booked our tour.

Adventure activities in Rajasthan (Part 1): Tiger safari in Ranthambhore National Park

Why they call it a tiger reserve is beyond me.
The chances of seeing one are slim.

When I first started reading about Rajasthan, I realized that there are a plethora of monuments, temples and forts—things that don’t exactly thrill me. I’m big on doing, not seeing. But I was pleased to learn that there are quite a few interesting things to do in the state. So here’s Part 1 of my review of some“adventure” activities and the cities they took place in.

(And here are Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4)

ACTIVITY #1: Tiger safari

The Place: Sawai Madhopur (Ranthambhore National Park)
The Date: Jan. 5, 2012
The Price: 795 rupees (I paid 475 to book online, and had to give another 320 to the guide)

But you'll see lots of spotted deer.

Thrill Level, from 1 to 10: 1 (It’s not hard sitting in an open-topped bus looking for animals.)

The guidebooks say that Ranthambhore is one of your better chances to spot a tiger. I’ll just state now that no, I did not see a tiger. But my jeep did see numerous spotted deer, monkeys, sambars (a type of antelope), crocodiles, and birds, and it’s still exciting seeing any animal in the wild.

Our best shot at tiger spotting came in an area where, according to our guide, there were two recently orphaned baby tigers. The park rangers had tied a live ox to a tree stump, as the tigers weren’t old enough to hunt on their own yet. So we waited nearby for five minutes in silence to see if the baby tigers would make an appearance. The ox kept baying balefully. “It’s saying, ‘here’s your dinner, come get me,’” our guide said. But the tigers didn’t come out while we were there, and I felt bad for the ox that didn’t have a sporting chance.

Watching the Super Bowl at the U.S. embassy in Delhi

Giants fans cheer the victory.

I’m not remotely a football fan, but when I heard they were showing the Super Bowl at the U.S. Embassy in Delhi, I wanted to go. They were showing the game at the American Community Support Association (ACSA) restaurant, but you needed to be a member or a guest of one to come in. So I texted a guy I met once who works at the embassy requesting an invite, and he agreed to sign me in.

Just before 5 am on Monday I stepped through a metal detector, showed the guards my passport, and was on my way to a posh restaurant where the game was playing on a projector.

Out of a Pahar Ganj hotel and into an apartment

Pahar Ganj's Main Bazaar

Last week I moved out of Pahar Ganj and into the upper-middle-class neighborhood of Safdarjung Enclave. I love it. My commute to Asha is now 30 minutes—walking. The neighborhood is comparatively quiet, and no one’s yelling at me, trying to get my attention, or asking me where I’m from.

Pahar Ganj, which is right off the New Delhi Railway Station (a hub for trains out of Delhi) is chock full of backpackers and cheap hotels. It seems to have a bad reputation amongst Delhi residents who don’t live there. The Indian employees at Asha always expressed concern for me staying there. “Is it safe?” “Don’t eat the food there! I heard they don’t use clean water.”

Dealing with Indian men who think foreign women are sluts

So the tough thing about being a solo female traveler in India is that some local men think we're quite promiscuous. That’s according to the 2009 Lonely Planet: “The skimpy clothing and culturally inappropriate behavior of a minority of foreign women appears to have had somewhat of a ripple effect on the perception of foreign women in general.” Of course we can’t say every Indian man thinks this way, but we can certainly say some do. What did this mean for me? A series of uncomfortable situations. (Not quite as uncomfortable as being sexually harassed by two little boys, though.)

Khan (a 1 on the 1-to-5 skeaziness scale)

This is my New Year’s Eve buddy, who saw me walking by myself on the street and opted to join me. Since it was New Year’s, I didn’t discourage him. Khan brought up the subject of casual sex and how attitudes toward it differ in India and the West. He mentioned that he’s 23 and a virgin, and wanted to know my history (I made up stuff). He did suggest a kiss at midnight, and when I said no he tried to kiss my hand, but I pulled away and made clear I was not up for anything. 

How many tries does it take to get on a train in Delhi? Four.

I could not get on the damn train.

 In "Outsourced," NBC’s short-lived series about an American guy who moves to Mumbai to run a call center, there's a scene where the American is going with his colleagues on a train out of the city. Except when the train doors open and everyone rushes out and rushes in, he’s overwhelmed and can’t get on. It takes several attempts before he managed to get on the train.
On Monday, it took me four tries to get on a train. It happened at the Rajiv Chowk station, which is always a mess because it’s a connecting station. The first train stopped, and while I could have squeezed myself on, it was pretty full and I decided to wait for the next train.

Unfortunately, the next train was a shorter one. I, and all the women around me (we were waiting for the ladies’ compartment), rushed down the platform to try to get on; I was crushed among them, and at one point could feel the top half of my body leaning far over where my feet were planted. I thought, “If I fell, would they run over me? Would it be like Wal-Mart on Black Friday?”

IM conversation with my sister after she's read the last post

Jackie: what does 10 rupees equate to?

 me:  20 cents

why

don't judge me

 Jackie:  just wondering

 me: that's breakfast

 that's almost a thums up

WHY?!!??!

Jackie:  because I want to know how much you're getting cheated

 me:  quit being a Judgmental Jackie for once in your life

10 rupees buys a lot here

it just got me 6 momos

PERSPECTIVE MEANS NOTHING HERE!